{"id":2128,"date":"2019-09-07T16:25:27","date_gmt":"2019-09-07T14:25:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/?p=2128"},"modified":"2023-04-16T20:15:35","modified_gmt":"2023-04-16T18:15:35","slug":"paravan-milan-grujic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/2019\/09\/07\/paravan-milan-grujic\/","title":{"rendered":"Paravan \u2013 Milan Gruji\u0107"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" id=\"kaltura_player\" src=\"https:\/\/api.cast.switch.ch\/p\/106\/sp\/10600\/embedIframeJs\/uiconf_id\/23448425\/partner_id\/106?iframeembed=true&#038;playerId=kaltura_player&#038;entry_id=0_6lcazjet&#038;flashvars[streamerType]=auto&amp;flashvars[localizationCode]=de&amp;flashvars[leadWithHTML5]=true&amp;flashvars[sideBarContainer.plugin]=true&amp;flashvars[sideBarContainer.position]=left&amp;flashvars[sideBarContainer.clickToClose]=true&amp;flashvars[chapters.plugin]=true&amp;flashvars[chapters.layout]=vertical&amp;flashvars[chapters.thumbnailRotator]=false&amp;flashvars[streamSelector.plugin]=true&amp;flashvars[EmbedPlayer.SpinnerTarget]=videoHolder&amp;flashvars[dualScreen.plugin]=true&amp;flashvars[hotspots.plugin]=1&amp;flashvars[Kaltura.addCrossoriginToIframe]=true&amp;&#038;wid=0_kte7a0p4\" width=\"608\" height=\"402\" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozAllowFullScreen allow=\"autoplay *; fullscreen *; encrypted-media *\" sandbox=\"allow-downloads allow-forms allow-same-origin allow-scripts allow-top-navigation allow-pointer-lock allow-popups allow-modals allow-orientation-lock allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-presentation allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\" frameborder=\"0\" title=\"Paravan\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><span lang=\"sr-Cyrl-RS\">\u041c\u0438\u043b\u0430\u043d \u0413\u0440\u0443\u0458\u0438\u045b \u0440\u043e\u0452\u0435\u043d \u0458\u0435 27. \u043c\u0430\u0458\u0430 1996. \u0443 \u0410\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0452\u0435\u043b\u043e\u0432\u0446\u0443 \u0433\u0434\u0435 \u0458\u0435 \u0441\u0442\u0435\u043a\u0430\u043e \u043e\u0441\u043d\u043e\u0432\u043d\u043e \u0438 \u0441\u0440\u0435\u0434\u045a\u0435 \u043e\u0431\u0440\u0430\u0437\u043e\u0432\u0430\u045a\u0435. <\/span><span lang=\"sr-Cyrl-RS\">\u0417\u0430 \u0443\u043c\u0435\u0442\u043d\u043e\u0441\u0442 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0437\u0435 \u0437\u0430\u0438\u043d\u0442\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0441\u043e\u0432\u0430\u043e \u0441\u0435 \u0458\u043e\u0448 \u043a\u0430\u043e \u0433\u0438\u043c\u043d\u0430\u0437\u0438\u0458\u0430\u043b\u0430\u0446, \u0432\u0435\u045b \u0443 \u0441\u0435\u0434\u0430\u043c\u043d\u0430\u0435\u0441\u0442\u043e\u0458 \u0433\u043e\u0434\u0438\u043d\u0438, \u043a\u0430\u0434\u0430 \u0458\u0435 \u0438 \u043f\u043e\u0447\u0435\u043e \u0434\u0430 \u043f\u0438\u0448\u0435 \u0441\u0432\u043e\u0458 \u043f\u0440\u0432\u0438 \u0440\u043e\u043c\u0430\u043d \u0443 \u0436\u0430\u043d\u0440\u0443 \u0435\u043f\u0441\u043a\u0435 \u0444\u0430\u043d\u0442\u0430\u0441\u0442\u0438\u043a\u0435. \u041a\u0440\u0430\u0458\u0435\u043c 2015. \u0443\u043f\u0438\u0441\u0430\u043e \u0458\u0435 \u0420\u0443\u0441\u043a\u0438 \u0458\u0435\u0437\u0438\u043a \u0438 \u043a\u045a\u0438\u0436\u0435\u0432\u043d\u043e\u0441\u0442 \u043d\u0430 \u041a\u0430\u0442\u0435\u0434\u0440\u0438 \u0437\u0430 \u0441\u043b\u0430\u0432\u0438\u0441\u0442\u0438\u043a\u0443 \u0424\u0438\u043b\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0448\u043a\u043e\u0433 \u0444\u0430\u043a\u0443\u043b\u0442\u0435\u0442\u0430 \u0423\u043d\u0438\u0432\u0435\u0440\u0437\u0438\u0442\u0435\u0442\u0430 \u0443 \u0411\u0435\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u0434\u0443. <\/span><span lang=\"sr-Cyrl-RS\">\u0423 \u0441\u043a\u043b\u043e\u043f\u0443 \u0438\u0437\u0431\u043e\u0440\u043d\u043e\u0433 \u043f\u0440\u0435\u0434\u043c\u0435\u0442\u0430 ,,\u041a\u0440\u0435\u0430\u0442\u0438\u0432\u043d\u043e \u043f\u0438\u0441\u0430\u045a\u0435\u201c, \u0447\u0435\u0442\u0438\u0440\u0438 \u0441\u0435\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0440\u0430 \u043f\u043e\u0445\u0430\u0452\u0430\u043e \u0458\u0435 \u043f\u0440\u0435\u0434\u0430\u0432\u0430\u045a\u0430 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0444. \u0434\u0440 \u0417\u043e\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0430 \u0416\u0438\u0432\u043a\u043e\u0432\u0438\u045b\u0430, \u0432\u0435\u043b\u0435\u043c\u0430\u0458\u0441\u0442\u043e\u0440\u0430 \u043d\u0430\u0443\u0447\u043d\u0435 \u0444\u0430\u043d\u0442\u0430\u0441\u0442\u0438\u043a\u0435, \u043a\u043e\u0458\u0438 \u043c\u0443 \u0458\u0435 \u043f\u043e\u043c\u043e\u0433\u0430\u043e \u0434\u0430 \u0438\u0437\u0431\u0440\u0443\u0441\u0438 \u043a\u045a\u0438\u0436\u0435\u0432\u043d\u0438 \u0441\u0442\u0438\u043b. \u0422\u0430\u0434\u0430 \u0441\u0443 \u043d\u0430\u0441\u0442\u0430\u043b\u0435 \u043f\u0440\u0438\u0447\u0435 \u201e\u041f\u0430\u0440\u0430\u0432\u0430\u043d\u201c, \u201e\u0420\u0435\u043c\u0438\u201c \u0438<\/span><span lang=\"sr-Cyrl-RS\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"sr-Cyrl-RS\">\u201e\u0421\u0443\u0441\u0440\u0435\u0442 \u043f\u0438\u0441\u0446\u0430 \u0438 \u043f\u0440\u0438\u043d\u0446\u0435\u0437\u0435 \u0425\u0443\u0445\u0443\u0440\u0430\u043d\u201c, \u043a\u043e\u0458\u0435 \u0441\u0443 \u0447\u0438\u0442\u0430\u043d\u0435 \u043d\u0430 \u0420\u0430\u0434\u0438\u0458\u0443 202. <\/span><span lang=\"sr-Cyrl-RS\">\u041e\u0434 2016. \u0433\u043e\u0434\u0438\u043d\u0435 \u0441\u0430\u0440\u0430\u0434\u043d\u0438\u043a \u0458\u0435 \u0421\u0442\u0443\u0434\u0435\u043d\u0442\u0441\u043a\u0435 \u043e\u0440\u0433\u0430\u043d\u0438\u0437\u0430\u0446\u0438\u0458\u0435 \u201e\u041d\u0435\u0433\u0443\u0458\u043c\u043e \u043a\u0443\u043b\u0442\u0443\u0440\u0443\u201c \u0438 \u0442\u0430\u0434\u0430 \u043f\u043e\u0447\u0438\u045a\u0435 \u0434\u0430 \u043f\u0438\u0448\u0435 \u0440\u043e\u043c\u0430\u043d-\u043c\u043e\u0437\u0430\u0438\u043a \u201e\u041a\u0430\u043b\u0435\u043c \u0422\u0438\u0440\u0443\u0430\u043b\u0438\u0458\u0435\u201c.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>PARAVAN<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Do moje dvanaeste godine otac me je svakodnevno tukao. Ni moja mla\u0111a sestra nije prolazila bolje. Po\u0161to je majka preminula, batine su trajale du\u017ee, a novim modricama i posekotinama trebalo je \u010dak po mesec da se zacele. Ja sam nekako i uspevao da izdr\u017eim \u0161amaranje i pesni\u010denje, no sestra je svako ve\u010de plakala. Nisam vi\u0161e mogao da je gledam tu\u017enu. Morao sam da joj pomognem.<\/p>\n<p>Te sudbonosne no\u0107i obavio sam joj ruke oko vrata i prekratio joj muke.<\/p>\n<p>Do smrti sam se se\u0107ao dra\u017ei i ushi\u0107enja prvog spasavanja&#8230; I prvog, ali i svih narednih. Nisam se, naravno, zaustavio samo kod svoje sestre. U svetu je postojalo jo\u0161 mnogo dece koju je trebalo sa\u010duvati od ljudskog zla.<\/p>\n<p>Kada mi je du\u0161a napustila telo, nisam video nikakvu an\u0111eosku svetlost na kraju tunela. Moj put je, izgleda, bio jednosmerna ulica ka paklu. O\u010dekivao sam tako ne\u0161to. Jo\u0161 za \u017eivota sam se pomirio sa \u010dinjenicom da ubice, ma koliko im namere bile plemenite, ne idu u raj.<\/p>\n<p>Dok sam i\u0161ao ka dverima mra\u010dnog carstva, bio sam uveren da me ne\u0107e do\u010dekati ni uz kakve po\u010dasti i da je sam \u010din ulaska u podzemlje tek puka formalnost pre ve\u010dnog mu\u010denja. Prevario sam se, me\u0111utim, budu\u0107i da me je pred dverima do\u010dekao li\u010dno on.<\/p>\n<p>Prvo sam na njemu primetio boju ko\u017ee. Nije bila ni crvena ni crna, kako smo mi smrtnici pretpostavljali, ve\u0107 siva. Rogove i rep nije imao, a na glavi je nosio venac od uvelih ru\u017ea u kojima je svetlucao prituljeni \u017ear. Iako je u po\u010detku susreta delovalo da nema lice, kada sam mu se pribli\u017eio, uvideo sam da mu je za lice, u stvari, prilepljeno elipsasto ogledalo.<\/p>\n<p>Po\u0161to sam u ogledalu ugledao svoj odraz, on se duboko naklonio. Stajali smo tako \u0107utke nekoliko trenutaka, a onda je progovorio mojim glasom.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eTrideset dvoje!\u201c Zakikotao se. \u201eTrideset dvoje mla\u0111ih od deset godina. Gledaju\u0107i te kako ubija\u0161, pola veka proletelo je kao treptaj oka.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNisam ubijao zarad tvoje zabave&#8230;\u201c po\u017eurio sam da objasnim. \u201eUbijao sam da bih spasao mlade, neiskvarene du\u0161e.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eSpasao? Od \u010dega?\u201c upitao me je cini\u010dno. \u201eOdrastanja?\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201ePakla\u201c, odgovorio sam mu, namr\u0161tiv\u0161i se.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eDobri moj&#8230;\u201c Ponovo se zakikotao. \u201eGde bi meni bio kraj da svetom hoda jo\u0161 ljudi kao \u0161to si ti. Ve\u0107ina smrtnika u\u017easno je dosadna za posmatranje. Ako i zgre\u0161e ne\u0161to krupno, odmah osete gri\u017eu savesti. Neki se \u010dak i pokaju. Ti si, me\u0111utim, nastavio da ubija\u0161. Pravu si umetnost na\u010dinio od toga. Podigao si lestvicu za sve budu\u0107e ubice.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eDa sam decu ostavio u \u017eivotu, veliki deo njih sigurno bi odrastao u gre\u0161ne ljude, koje bi ti kasnije zlostavljao u paklu. Ovako, umesto trideset tri du\u0161e, ima\u0161 samo jednu.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>Utom su se preda mnom od\u0161krinule divovske dveri, tek toliko da se uka\u017ee maleni prolaz. Kroz njih su izi\u0161la deca koju sam odmah prepoznao. Me\u0111u njima je bila i moja mla\u0111a sestra.<\/p>\n<p>Oblio me je znoj. Po\u010deo sam da ih prebrojavam u nadi da sam bar nekoga spasao. Tada me je u grimiznoj pe\u0107ini pred dverima pakla trgao sestrin glasi\u0107.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNisi valjda uobrazio da mo\u017ee\u0161 da ga nadmudri\u0161?\u201c upitala me je tiho. Tek sam tada shvatio koliko je dugo pro\u0161lo od na\u0161eg poslednjeg razgovora i koliko je sazrela za sve ove godine.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eMo&#8230; Molim?\u201c zamucao sam. Ugledav\u0161i sestrine tanane ruke ispresecane o\u017eiljcima, srce mi se steglo.<\/p>\n<p>Tada je iz gu\u017eve istupio crnokosi de\u010dak vizantijskoplavih o\u010diju. Prepoznao sam ga. Bilo je to tre\u0107e dete koje sam oslobodio zemaljske zlobe.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNeki ka\u017eu da je Njegova najve\u0107a obmana to \u0161to je ubedio ljude da postoji raj i smejao se njihovim poku\u0161ajima da ga dosegnu. I dan-danas gospodar se divi ljudskoj gluposti i sujeverju&#8230;\u201c<\/p>\n<p>Vratio se na mesto gde je malo\u010das stajao, a za njim je istupila puna\u010dka devoj\u010dica rumenih obraza. Nastavila je da govori tamo gde je prethodni govornik zastao. \u201ePostoji, me\u0111utim, jedna ve\u0107a obmana&#8230;\u201c<\/p>\n<p>Gospodar ju je prekinuo odmahnuv\u0161i levom rukom i ona je istog trena za\u0107utala.<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNagradno pitanje&#8230;\u201c rekao je, okrenuv\u0161i se ka meni tako da sam ponovo mogao da vidim svoj odraz u elipsastom ogledalu na njegovom licu. \u201eKoja je jedina ve\u0107a obmana od te da postoji raj? Razmisli dobro.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>Nekoliko trenutaka bio sam udubljen u misli, a onda mi je sinulo. Bila je to najstra\u0161nija zamisao koja je mogla da mi padne na pamet. \u201eDo\u0111avola!\u201c povikao sam. \u201eIzmislio si da Bog postoji!\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eTo nije istina.\u201c Nasmejao se. \u201eBog, i te kako, postoji.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>Srce mi je si\u0161lo u pete. \u201eAko Bog postoji, kako onda nema raja?\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eAvaj, po\u0161to si protra\u0107io priliku da me zadivi\u0161 domi\u0161ljato\u0161\u0107u, re\u0107i \u0107u ti: moja najve\u0107a obmana jeste to \u0161to sam ubedio \u010dove\u010danstvo da \u0111avo postoji.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eAli&#8230;\u201c zamucao sam. \u201eAli ti si tu, ispred mene! Ti si \u0111avo!\u201c<\/p>\n<p>\u201eNe, dragi moj.\u201c Odmahnuo je glavom. \u201eJa sam Bog. \u0110avo je tek paravan za sva moja zlodela.\u201c<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/tag\/milan-grujic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #3366ff\"><strong>Milan Gruji\u0107<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, University of Belgrade<\/p>\n<p>Edited by: Elena Gall, University of Zurich<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do moje dvanaeste godine otac me je svakodnevno tukao. Ni moja mla\u0111a sestra nije prolazila bolje. Po\u0161to je majka preminula<span class=\"more-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/2019\/09\/07\/paravan-milan-grujic\/\">Read More &rarr;<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":380,"featured_media":2129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"\u00a9\u041c\u0438\u043b\u0430\u043d \u0413\u0440\u0443\u0458\u0438\u045b","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[99],"tags":[453,120],"class_list":["entry","author-slavicumpress","has-excerpt","post-2128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-audiotext","tag-milan-grujic","tag-serbian"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/380"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2128"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13733,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2128\/revisions\/13733"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dlf.uzh.ch\/sites\/slavicumpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}